My experience with my Voices Everywhere!

                                  MY VOICES MY DAY YESTERDAY

Also I noticed how extreme my voices were yesterday. Every house I walked by outside had some sort of voice as if the nieghbors were looking and shouting at me from their windows every single house I would get criticism. One saying I dont get why people like him. I got tired and decided to come back home I walked up stairs and all of a sudden a voice says to me hes sweet, I think in other words they were meaning I am not as much a macho person as they are meaning im not as tough so im soft and sweet or something but it didnt make sense. I didnt get what they wanted out of me how they wanted me to be to them or why they wouldnt stop paying attention and bothering me. I began to try to get stronger by doing some push up  exercises but didnt get how being strong would make any difference to their judgements. I can also remember times the voices telling me Im a girl and that im weak etc as I was just walking by. As I go to my room a voice talks about me constantly saying all kinds of words in sarcastic ways. Eventually I have a out burst a little and Michael comes for me telling me to not care about them. In confusion to why my voices were doing this my outburst came too because I have never been treated this way and its getting very real. This morning as I write this the voices are telling me off. I was convinced that all my new young neighbors hated me and that the old Berkeley I was in had changed all the way it was terrible. My voices are mostly young people I never hear anyone of them thats old I wounder why. All I know is I dont respect most of the youthful voices knowing that their generation is unfriendly but I wounder what they will do when they become old! hmm! Yesterday I caused my grand father hes 80 years old all kinds of stress. I sometimes think they want me to get in trouble or end up in the hospital. As I got into a episode he told me to sit down and lay down in which I did because I coudlnt take the bullying from my voice nieghbors any longer. He even layed down with me as he breathed heavily and said this is effecting me too Dusk you have to care for me. I felt bad that I had caused that with Mike and I am suprised what they young voices cause I think they want the worst for us here and dont care how much pain they cause. As I write this the voices are making fun and saying dont wake him up hes a cat. They make fun of me everyday and its hard to concentrate on anything. Even when im in art class online they criticize me for asking questions for help in school saying im Dumb and why dont I understand. I then stand up and say I have Dyslexia and sometimes I need extra time and help that they shouldnt critize me all the time and it lowers my sense of self. These voices mainly are from down below our home because we live in an apartment building. They feel so real that I can even hear them and feel the echo's of their voices as they speak. I cant tell the difference between a real voice from a person or a actuall voice thats talking to me from some external source. Its hard its hard everyday to not respond to take in how they make a fool out of me by playing around and then hurting me all day every way they can. As I write this another voices just said with a sarcastic sentance, So do they hate you Dusk? Sometimes I want to escape all this and go for atleast a distance from this place. But with covid its getting harder to do that. At times the voices get so bad they even tell me they wont stop. I am in alot of confusion because the voices are really bullys and mean to me in apartments but the people iv met in this block and say Hi to at times dont seem to be like how my voices are but at the same time most of the people I say Hi to have been here and are older, where my voices are people that are of young ages who hide within the houses they own in this upper class nieghbor hood we live in. Michael my grand father , father , great great uncle was telling me its not your niehgbors. The voices then tell me they can and are getting away with doing this to me which makes me even more fustrated and sad. They make our family stressed and when I get stressed so does Michael.