My Experiences Today with My Voices Becoming Realer and How They Seem To Me

                                        What I experienced Today and Continue too!

You may say you can only hear voices from what you can see from people, but with schizophrenia I have heard very real voices where no one was to be there but they sounded like they were there and very real.  Sometimes things can be more complicated then you think different then something as it is or it isnt. or as its real or its not real. or its there not there.

The other day I heard this voice of a man when outside of my home and I instantly turned around on his last word and I saw a blur and heat I could feel from the energy of his self while voice that was talking to me. 

At first I always thought that the voices were real people only just from the distance. But then I realized they werent people I could physically see when I was at home I had to focus of the thing that was talking to me, and looked hard right at the direction it was near the door, and I could see the making of a clearness making a shape out of something that was almost see through or invisible as it spoke I saw nothing of it as there until I had made a realization that it was just invisible person that I could not see unless I looked very closely to the clear movement in it.

But it seems finding out these things about my voices has almost made it a permanent belief in a way and has told me things have really changed more than I ever had expected.

For me I feel like I have been a target by mutliple sources through out the day sometimes they could be as real as real people and part of it I think real people take on with it as well. They make quick judgements and have statements like any other person does when they see someone then they speak on those. Sometimes I try not to put myself in those places but sometimes it is hard not to do so.

Sometimes after hearing the voices for a period of time I get to become familiar with the voices as if there speaking to me I have gotten to know after a while the sound of the voices become familiar. Sadly these voices have become real, as real as hearing someone not far from me. Today I heard how real they were as real as a real person but then I knew I herd the voice before in the past than I instantly told myself dont fall for the voice to show you hear it. Knowing that once I let the voice see that im noticing them, then thats where it can become more real and become more of an existant person and then it will follow even more from that and not go away!

I  even believe that real people can read my thoughts. that shows how real the voices can be, that I am convinced that they are real because I can physically hear them with my ear. 

Earlier Today while outside on a walk I herd sources of voices almost in every direction at times I would turn my head and see no one at times I would turn my head the other way and see people like neighbors. It has gotten so real I cannot tell the difference of a invisible voice and a real being that is seen talking, It almost seems as if those two differences are becoming one.

To the average person this would be very unusual to understand. Its almost like I am completly aware of everything and in a phychosis that doesnt involve delusions or not being there but actually the opposite, that I am so aware that they arnt delusions. Sometimes I worry about my voice hearing. Sometimes I think people wont like me , will be afraid of me or simply will not understand when they see that I am noticing so many things. What I described is what I noticed today. I know it will be a long time and I am getting down what I notice so far. Thanks for reading!